#musicmonday is predictably trending hard on Twitter as I type this, on Monday night, because it’s Monday, and “monday” is in the hashtag and all. But you know what else is trending? #oldpeoplenames. I love this. Can we talk about this instead of music? Why is no one named Gladys anymore???
Also, in true Twitter form, no one who is using this hashtag seems to fully understand it. Amy? Come on. That is not an old person name. Dolores, Gaylord, Agatha, and Wilmer are. Tweeps clearly need to waste more time at work looking up baby name trends since the 1880s using ridiculously cool live-updating graphs. Not that I do this. To find cat names. What? Let’s talk about music!
I would like to put on my Old Auntie Myrtle bonnet for this column, and talk about #musicmonday etiquette. (Disclaimer: The following harshly worded mandates reflect my own preferences, and may not be actual Twitter best practices.)
Rule 1: #musicmonday more. When I joined Twitter, so many moons ago (er, 3?), the Music Monday tradition was all about sharing new music with friends. Now, every week, the Twitter transcripts are overrun with scalpers using #musicmonday to hawk tickets to concerts. I can’t remember the last time I saw a #musicmonday suggestion in my own Twitter feed. I miss them. I learned things from those Tweets. That is rare.
Rule 1a: Experiment. Make up new alternative music-related hashtags. Let’s get #punkrockfriday off the ground, yes? I’m partial to #rainydaypowerpop, too, although I’m pretty sure I’m the only person on the planet who has ever used that hashtag. Take it! Make it your own! Give it the life that I cannot!
When you’re giving life to all these hashtags, remember Rule #2: Please include a link. Preferably a shortened link. I am lazy, and I assume 99.9% of Twitter users are also lazy. A tweet like “OMG cannot stop listening to the new Mark Ronson single! #musicmonday” is frustrating, because then I have to laboriously highlight alllllllll the relevant words, copppppppy them, mouse allllllllll the way over to my Google search bar, passsssste them, and scan through alllllll the results before I get to hear the music you so graciously recommended.
It’s important to include the link, but (Rule #3), it’s equally important to explain what you’re linking to. Unless you’re trying for a #musicmonday Rickroll. (Rule #4: Do not Rickroll.) If I see a tweet in the middle of the work day that reads “OMG #musicmonday blast from the past!! [link],” I will be grumpy for hours if I click that link and get ambushed by the Spice Girls. Include the artist and song name. No one actually likes internet surprises. (Except for this one.)
So, all you Blanches, Ednas, Lelands, and Clarences, you are now empowered to give new life to a dying hashtag. Give me music to listen to! But do it properly. According to me.
My #musicmonday pick: An oldie, in honor of all those names—Otis Williams and The Charms’ “Hearts Made of Stone.” I love this song so much.